The one thing holding you back May 15 2016, 0 Comments



I work with women who are seeking more. Not in a "I'll never be happy" kind of way but in an intuitive way. They hear a little voice inside, underneath the crap our ego feeds us that we are stuck with our lot in life, a voice that whispers "come in this direction, there is another way." Perhaps this is you? These women seek a different life, a happier life for themselves. Less stress, less overwhelm, less anxiety. More calm, deep inner peace, ease, flow, more soul, connection, presence, a greater purpose, more joy and passion. 

I understand. I totally get this. I've been there before. I know that voice all too well, the one that says there is something else, there is more out there, I am capable of more. The inner voice, the knowing inside that believes in magic and the limitless opportunities in life that open up once we are ready to believe and receive. That voice has become my friend, it continues to guide me on my journey.

This journey is one of awakening and it isn't always easy. It involves a shift in consciousness, an awareness where we see that every experience, opportunity, thought and belief presents a lesson and acts as a guide leading us on this journey to being the best version of ourselves and creating a magical life. But not all of us see life in this way. Not all of us see life for the incredible opportunities it has to offer us. Why is that? What holds us back from living this life and becoming our best self.

It can be lack of awareness (or disinterest in developing oneself), not being able to see the potential and endless opportunities and lessons life has to offer us. It might be poor timing, the penny hasn't dropped or the soul isn't ready to expand. It can be the deeply ingrained conditioning and programming of our thoughts and beliefs that tell us this is the way life is, to shut up and accept life as it is. On the other side of those limiting beliefs and programs are new programs waiting for you that are grateful for all you have but open to so much more.

But you know what really holds us back? It's just one thing. It usually always is.


Some believe fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear being an illusion, something we fabricate in our minds that poses a threat. Change for many creates fear. Fear keeps us stuck. When we dig a little deeper into our limiting beliefs and the fear that holds us back we actually see that the threat to our safety is rarely real. I like this acronym, even though it doesn't tell us where all of this fear comes from or help us figure out how to overcome this dilemma.

So where did we learn to become so fearful? It starts from the time we were very small, perhaps learning to walk. Those times our parents rushed to prevent us from falling or told us that eating dirt or laundry powder would make us sick. This desire for others to keep us safe continues on throughout our lives via our parents, teachers, the media and various authorities. Fear is ingrained in us from such an early age. Don't get me wrong fear is also what keeps us safe. It's that sixth sense that tells us when we are in danger. Fear is what triggers the fight or flight response. The stress response. So naturally we start to develop a relationship to fear where when this feeling comes up, we either want to run, hide, deny or avoid it. Yet rarely in our day to day is this fear program required or beneficial. In most cases, particularly when it comes to setting goals with soul and creating a life we love, it's actually detrimental.

Fear tells us we 'should' do something when we really don't want to. The result: Hello people pleasing!

Fear tells us we won't be loved if we go against the grain and do something our family/friends/society perceive to be different or "out there." The result: We stay small to fit in when fitting out is where the magic happens! 

Fear tells us we will fail if we try something new. The result: I won't be loveable if I fail, it's safer to just keep doing what I always do. Even though there is no such thing as failure!

Fear tells us we don't deserve success or a ridiculously happy life so we don't even try to move in the direction of our dreams. The result: This triggers the deeply ingrained and often repetitive belief of "I'm not worthy".


Fear keeps us small. It prevents us from moving in the direction of our dreams. Fear threatens that if we listen to that inner voice that tells us there is more, that we will be separate from others, different, unloveable. 

So I'm calling BS on fear. While it's an ongoing journey and I still observe the number of ways fear shows up in my life in the form of procrastination, distraction, overcommitting, over-giving and self-sabotage. Fear has much less of a hold on me these days.

So tell me, is fear running your show? 

Do you find yourself talking down your dreams or avoiding voicing what you truly desire in your life for fear of fitting out and not fitting in?  

What specific fear if overcome might significantly change your life?

Share in the comments below what fears you sense could be holding you back.

One of my pet hates is seeing people consciously and unconsciously continue to buy into fear. I believe we are all worthy of our deepest desires to live an incredible life. In fact it's no longer just "face your fear," the advice is to actually go in the direction of your fear, as Marie Forleo tells us in this wonderful Marie TV episode.

If you're ready to stop letting fear control you and prevent you from living your best life, come and join my Soulful Goals Facebook group. You'll find a likeminded sisterhood of fear-busting women sharing tips and supporting one another to live with greater peace, purpose and passion.